Don’t leave it until the last minute! Many of us, when faced with an overwhelming task, can tend towards procastination. Always easier to put off the painful, right?! Except when it’s the night before your wedding, and you really want to relax with your friends, but instead, are stressing yourself out about writing something earth shattering and meaningful.. Trust me, it’s not a good position to be in, I know from my husband who did exactly that! My best advice is to start jotting down ideas early on. I’d think about my vows when I was driving or walking the dog and I’d jot down memories or thoughts in a folder on my phone so that when it came to actually writing them I wasn’t starting from scratch. I also finalized them a couple of months before, and would recite them to myself pretty regularly so that as the day approached I wasn’t having to worry about whether I’d remember them, or having to reach for a scrappy bit of paper. Although… if you don’t trust your memory, their are some beautiful vow books available.
Know your audience. Essentially your partner is your audience. There is no one size fits all solution here. For some, it’s not a wedding vow unless there are tears, for others, grand declarations and intimate promises are best saved for the two of you and not something to be shared in front of friends and family. If you’re not sure, best to talk about it early on so you set the tone just right. It can be tempting to think that we have to be super sentimental and serious when it comes to wedding vows but if that isn’t who you are as a couple don’t feel forced down a route that isn’t right for you. Personally, I love to see laughter from the guests, as much as I do tears… and man, I am a crier!
Don’t forget about Grandma. So, yes, your vows should be all about you and your fiancé but you know, if you’ve chosen to say them in front of a bunch of your family and friends, it’s only polite to recognize that they’re part of the audience too! So, if your relatives are gonna cringe at you promising to be an amazing lover, maybe leave that one for the wedding night! This also applies to length, top complaints about wedding ceremonies are usually around them dragging on. Think quality over quantity!
Make them personal. My favorite wedding vows are always the ones that can’t be copied, because they’re so specific to the two of you that they wouldn’t make sense for anyone else. So draw on those little details that make you guys unique.
Don’t sweat it. Even if you ignore all the tips above and wing it on the day, it will probably still be amazing. And after all it’s your wedding day, so no one can get too mad at you!!
If you want some help with writing your vows, get in touch! I include it in my planning packages or can provide support via my consultancy offer.
If you're interested, you can read my vows here.